Innuendos Kudos

I have been reading Paddler off and on for years. I particularly enjoy the Innuendos column written by Chuck Weis and Eugene Buchanan. Its off-hand irreverence not only sets the tone of Paddler, but in many ways I think it captures the mentality of the sport. I am an attorney and live and practice and kayak in downtown Boulder, Colo. I have been paddling for about 10 years and divide my time between the Poudre and Arkansas rivers. I have also been known to appear in court with "helmet hair" after a lunchtime run down Boulder Creek.

--David Cleveland, Boulder, Colorado

A Member of the Contact Wearing Kayaker's Club

Although I've been an active canoeist most of my life an event took place early this year that made the '97 paddling season my best. Last winter a local surgeon performed PRK surgery on my highly myopic eyes. The results were amazing. My vision went from 20/600 to 20/20. Paddling with glasses was inconvenient. Spray splattered the lenses, and they'd fog up. That problem is gone, but there's an even better benefit. If my glasses had gotten broken or fallen into the water I would not have been able to see to paddle. Now that's not an issue at all.

--Rich Patterson, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

The Psychic Speaks

Editor's note: the following was addressed to contributor Robert Lyon from his psychic regarding his story entitled "Psychics, Tsunamis, and One Long Paddling Trip."

Dear Robert: I just wanted to thank you for the great article in the magazine (Oct. '97). I was most impressed not only with your personal account but also with the quality of the magazine itself. I would predict further work with them for you. Plus new contacts and excellent funding for a trip next May. Again, thank you. My best.

--Laurie McQuary, Lake Oswego, Oregon

Routine Reader

I recently did my routine, cover-to-cover read of the current issue. Always stirs the brain cells as well as memories of canoe trips past and ones planned for the future. I enjoy both technical and humorous articles; I have used the technical pieces as a swiftwater rescue instructor, and experience the humorous in person as often as possible. Best wishes for continued success; look forward to every issue.

--Bob Gitchell, Camdenton, Missouri

Y'all Don't Come Back Now Y'hear!

Regarding the recent events that transpired at the rodeo championships on the Ottawa River (Dec. '97): I can only say I sure hope it doesn't happen again here anytime soon--and a great number of local paddlers around this area share this sentiment. I have never seen such a bunch of river-etiquette lacking #$%&'s in all my life as those that showed up here and disrupted things on the river for close to a month. And then in true "We're Gods gift to whitewater" fashion so as not to be forgotten, left behind piles of litter on the shores and at the put-in. There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior.

And talking about behavior...actual on-the-river etiquette was also lacking. Not only would the practicing competitors zip into the wave ahead of you then stay there "wave hogging" taking extremely long rides, some of them actually had the nerve to shoot right into the wave (Baby Face) from the opposite side and knock you out. I stayed out of the Horseshoe during scheduled practice time--for that matter almost entirely through the three weeks leading up to the event--so you would think they would have enough decency to acknowledge this and the courtesy to wash through when they got blown off of Horseshoe, and leave the regulars, staffers and locals to do their thing. After all, they are guests in our neck of the woods, and I'm sure that if I showed up in their neck of the woods and started carrying on like that, it would be them who would get pissed. If the word ever comes down that the Ottawa is in the running to hold this event again, myself and umpteen local paddlers will be doing everything in our power to see that it doesn't come back here again. There were some individuals and teams from overseas countries who were great, courteous and a lot of fun. You know who you are. Come back for an actual holiday at high water and we'll have a real good time.

--Mike Cuff, Renfrew, Ontario, Canada

Hotspring Hint

It was great to see Cody, Wyo.'s Shoshone River mentioned in your Hotsprings article (Dec. '97). Unfortunately, several important points were missed. The spring you showed in the picture contains water only when the river exceeds 1,000 cfs. Another spring, a mile upstream, is actually much better most of the year. The three usable springs on the Shoshone are on private land--paddlers need to be aware that there have been local access problems. Please don't aggravate an already bad situation by failing to get permission to use them. Also, in late November part of the canyon wall collapsed, forming a natural dam just above Pinball Rapid. At present levels, the rapid is unrunnable. Paddlers visiting the area should be aware that old maps and guidebooks on this section are no longer correct.

--Ed Conning, Cody, Wyoming

Kona Conniption

Europeans began writing romantic nonsense about Pacific Islanders almost as soon as they first met any--and despite several centuries of contact, they have not stopped. The statement "the freedom the Polynesians enjoyed" in your "Kayaking Banned on Kona?" article (Oct. '97) is one more example. I hazard a guess the author is referring to a common misconception of the Polynesians of old as Oceanic flower children, living a life unfettered by disease, environmental incorrectness or territorial boundaries.

I do not blame you for the error; plenty of people here, including some who ought to know better, commit it. But while it is true that land concepts among Oceanic peoples have traditionally differed from the Euro-American idea of ownership, this does not mean that before Europeans arrived people wandered wherever they pleased. On the contrary, habitable land masses being few and far between, those tough enough to inhabit them guarded their territories fiercely. A stranger who showed up uninvited, or a resident who trespassed on taboo land, would have been lucky to escape with anything so meager as a fine; summary execution was the usual penalty. Although colonization was at best a mixed blessing, the kayakers who got ticketed at Kona ought to be grateful that it put a stop to "the freedom the Polynesians enjoyed" to effect such extreme punishments!

The misconception continues to cause inter-cultural problems. Although the people of Oceania are very hospitable, this hospitality demands something of its recipient. Even in Americanized Hawaii many people still observe the ancient protocols which forbid uninvited strangers to enter a territory. I do not know which "archaic state law" the local Kona government invoked against kayakers, but perhaps it was one of those based on traditional Hawaiian land rights. In more conservative communities, these protocols are even stricter. I live on Kauai and cannot comment knowledgeably on what happened in Kona. But some residents of our island have complained about kayakers and have suggested banning them from certain areas. This would be too bad, both because it would bar the decent majority of kayakers from innocent enjoyment of beautiful places, and because it would sour human relations on our island. Education of visitors (and some locals!) in traditional manners, may prevent Kauai from going the way of Kona. Your magazine can help with this. Surely there is enough beautiful water out there for everyone to share.

--Heu'ionalani Wyeth, Anahola, Hawaii

Photographer Duplicate

Greetings. The June 1993 issue of Paddler has finally reached me from a tail-shirt relative who was sure she was looking at one of my photographs on page 37. There is only one big problem. I have never been in either North or South Carolina or anywhere near Possum Creek Falls. To add to the confusion I do have a photograph very much like the one in your magazine (taken of Wildcat Cascades in Yosemite National Park). Furthermore, I have a first cousin named Paul Beard who lives in Maryland. To my knowledge he is not an outdoor photographer. Would I be asking too much for the address of the Paul Beard who took your photo of Possum Creek Falls? I would like to write him to invite him to stop by and visit me if he is ever in California. I would appreciate your help. Incidentally I am 75, a retired teacher, who does sell wildlife and outdoor photos. Rearing caterpillars into adult butterflies has been one of my hobbies for over 60 years.

--Paul W. Beard, Mariposa, California

Simulator Seeker

I enjoy reading Paddler magazine. In the months when it's more difficult to kayak due to weather, what indoor equipment to simulate kayaking is available? What I'm asking is to see an article on indoor training equipment for paddlers and exercises to do. I would be open to correspondences and addresses to direct me in seeking information.

--Tom Spirito, Middlebury, Indiana

--Look no farther than the Gadgets section of this issue. --Eds

Shame on Savage...Again

I find your ad on page 74 (Savage Design) of your October issue to be in extremely bad taste. The ad not only degrades women, but it is such a turn-off for this product I would never think of buying anything from Savage Design. As an ACA member and certified canoe instructor, I question your bottom line ethics. Are you so desperate for the advertising dollar that you will print anything?

--Susan Patterson

--If you saw the ad they ran in February 1995, you would note that they have toned things down a little. And this time they made sure their gold-painted model was a male...a "gentleman" named Perry Parker. --Eds